“Love Hurts” is a disappointing film designed to be released for Valentine’s Day. The movie has the star power, but this farce fails to click due to a weak script. Action scenes and comedy are meant to substitute for weakly-drawn characters and a love story that isn’t.

Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan) is a smiling, upbeat realtor who is having a lot of sales success. This is contrasted with scenes of an unseen hand drawing mustaches and other features on his ads on benches and flyers.

When Marvin gets to the office, he receives a Valentine from Rose (Ariana DeBose). This upsets him because Marvin used to be the enforcer for his brother Alvin “Knuckles” Gable (Daniel Wu), head of a crime syndicate. Marvin was supposed to have killed Rose, but instead let her live. Now he fears that his brother knows that he did not carry out the execution.

Inside his office, Marvin encounters Raven (Mustafa Shakir), a would-be poet and reluctant hitman. They go at it in a protracted fight scene. Marvin’s associate Ashley (Lio Tipton) hears the hubbub and knocks on the door. Marvin, in the throes of the battle, tells Ashley that everything is fine. Marvin subdues Raven but does not kill him.

Before Marvin can go home, pack, and get out of Dodge, his supervisor Cliff Cussick (Sean Astin—“Goonies” reunion!) presents him with a framed certificate as Regional Realtor of the Year. Marvin is like family to Cliff. Marvin asks to borrow Cliff’s car since Marvin bikes to work.

In another subplot, Rose had been sentenced to execution by Knuckles because she stole money from him. She, however, had been set up by Renny Merlow (Cam Gigandet) and Kippy Betts (Rhys Darby). Rose has been waiting to gather the evidence against Renny and Kippy to show to Knuckles. Now that she has re-appeared, Renny knows that she needs to be killed to save his skin.

Renny’s henchmen are King (Marshawn Lynch) and Otis (Andre Eriksen). Otis is on the outs with his girlfriend and is desperately trying to get back in her favor. The two thugs engage in playful, often humorous, banter. Renny assigns them to go to Marvin’s home and kill him, even though Knuckles wants Marvin alive.

When King and Otis arrive at Marvin’s home, he still has not left. Another protracted fight scene occurs before Marvin is able to scurry away over several neighborhood fences.

Meanwhile Ashley has entered Marvin’s office and finds what she assumes to be a dead Raven. She finds his book of poetry and begins to read his work. It resonates with her. When he revives, they clearly have chemistry.

Marvin goes to find Rose. She is angry with him because he is a wimp now and not the merciless hit man of the past. She endeavors to get him into fights so that he will become the killer he used to be. Marvin just wants peace.

Rose and Marvin retreat to a luxury home which Marvin is seeking to sell. But soon Marvin will have to face his past and his feelings for Rose.

This movie has several problems. It frankly seems like it was a good concept as a premise that then suffered poor execution in the screenplay.

The screenplay indeed is the first problem. The backstory of why people are after Marvin takes a while to be revealed. So it is difficult to understand why anyone is after Marvin. His comedic anxiety and fight sequences before his past is revealed occur out of context. I felt detached from what was happening on screen.

This is the second problem. The characters are really archetypes, not people. The backstory for each is weak, and there is no development other than in broad strokes.

Now having archetypes in a farce, which I think that this picture is, should not be a problem. The comedy is meant to be broad and the characters simpletons trapped in their quirks. But “Love Hurts” is a poorly written farce and so fails to be engaging. The tropes it uses (not being able to kill your victim, the sparring goons, the misunderstood hitman, the mismatched couple) have been done better before in other movies.

The third problem are the staged fights. I discovered watching press about this film that Quan, after his acting career started to falter, became a stunt choreographer. The producers and directors knew this and decided to highlight his skills in this area.

Quan is good at performing in these encounters. But the sheer ludicrousness of the action ruins his work. As usual, we have the decision to defy all laws of physics, anatomy and physiology. So blows that would severely wound or kill a normal person does not do so with these movie characters.

Combine this usual attempt at suspension of belief with protracted battles, and a sense of “Oh, come on already” fills the air. The scenes do have comic moments, but when the whole fight is comedic, you would be better off watching “The Three Stooges.”

The fourth problem is the attempted tie-in to Valentine’s Day. The love story of Ashley and Raven I could accept. But there is no chemistry between Rose and Marvin, other than what is said. The words came out and I didn’t believe it at all. The main love theme isn’t.

Rose in fact is quite an annoying character. Her smugness and willingness to completely disrupt someone’s life for her own benefit struck me as narcissistic and repulsive.

There were some performances, however, in which the actors were able to stand out. Sean Astin is moving and sincere as Cussick. Lio Tipton as Ashley fully embodies her archetypal depressive who finds true love in an unlikely place. Although he doesn’t have much dialogue, Mustafa Shakir as Raven strikes the right tone with his facial expressions and demeanor. It is just a shame that such talent is wasted on such a poorly-written piece.

I would advise not making this your date movie for Valentine’s Day. It is a film that I would watch on a streaming service rather than in a theater.

Two out of five stars

No matter how hard you try, you can’t break up with your past.

Marvin Gable is a realtor working the Milwaukee suburbs, where ‘For Sale’ signs bloom. Gable receives a crimson envelope from Rose, a former partner-in-crime that he had left for dead. She’s not happy.

Now, Marvin is thrust back into a world of ruthless hitmen, filled with double-crosses and open houses turned into deadly warzones. With his brother Knuckles, a volatile crime lord, hunting him, Marvin must confront the choices that haunt him and the history he never truly buried.

Starring: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Daniel Wu, Sean Astin, Mustafa Shakir, Lio Tipton, Rhys Darby, Marshawn Lynch, André Eriksen
Directed by: JoJo Eusebio
Written by: Matthew Murray & Josh Stoddard and Luke Passmore