The Return of Xander Cage is the third in the xXx franchise. A franchise everyone was completely convinced was dead when the foo– *ahem* team making the second installment had the audacity to announce Xander Cage was dead.

You’ll be happy to know (if you’re a fan) that Xander is back and he’s as brash as ever.
The movie opens with Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) talking and ordering food. He’s clearly in the middle of his recruitment pitch – xXx is now a fully funded covert spy squad remember – to someone initially off camera. It’s the tried and true method of taking advantage of Jackson’s signature bombastic style that seemingly breaks the fourth wall without scene disruption. Naturally, this all ends with the, did they really just do that, crash-bang-pow moment that starts off the action and the story.

The plot is still simple: national security is at risk; the world is in peril and being attacked by an unstoppable team of daring bad guys and only an anti-establishment outlaw can save us.

If you’re coming to a xXx-movie looking for a subtle commentary on the state of world affairs and human relations, you’ve turned into the wrong theater. Its point is pushed in your face with blunt dialogue and blurry loyalties. Just like snarky action flick taking a tongue-in-cheek stab at the secret agent genre should. It’s an adrenaline-fueled cartoon come to life – it even has the inserted comic panel bubbles to prove it.

This is a franchise that’s never forgotten what makes people come to watch: madcap stunts, knives, guns, big explosions, playful banter, witty (but light) dialogue and skin- wholly and completely unnecessary nakedness for no reason other than… because naked. xXx manages to capture an element of sexiness that avoids being crass or crude; it’s deliberately presented as humorously ironic – more a comment on how there isn’t one spy movie franchise that doesn’t present the hero as utterly irresistible. If you’re looking for empowerment then focus on the fact that the best hacker is female, the kickass sniper is female, the NSA gadget guru is female, and the moral compass of the team is female. They’re all smart and kick ass in various ways. Beyond that, I’m going to need you to remember this is a Hollywood action movie and exhale.

If you’ll recall, the original intent in the original xXx movie was to bring X-games type sports and elements to action movies in a way never seen before. Well, this installment didn’t forget its mission statement in fact, it does its level best to up the ante. This movie brings: Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Michael Bisping, and Rory McCann to the franchise and each bring a new flavor to the action upping the tricks, fight scenes, and adrenaline fueled risks. Several also bring a whole new level of eye candy to the table. While both the male and the female additions to the cast do it justice in the looks stakes, they are in no way empty-headed or just here to be pretty. Their skills are sharp, their game is tight and they’re all in for the absurdness that is completing a mission with Xander Cage.

The introduction of Jane Marke (played by an ice blond Toni Collette) as our NSA liaison adds an element of the straight man to the ambling nature of xXx jokes. Her one liners often say what would be the reasoning person’s response to Cage’s persona. It also opens the door for government twists and turns – this is a spy movie – double crosses and shady maneuvers. Her ability to deliver her lines with a straight face is often in-and-of itself hilarious.

The Return of Xander Cage is what The Expendables wanted when it brought in new blood. xXx picked far better. The new additions not only bring a new element to some of the action sequences – because more than one of these guys has no need of a stunt double given their level of badassness – they add more opportunities for the campy conversations and snarky encounters that are a franchise staple.

There’s nothing wrong with a tongue in cheek action movie that remembers not to take itself too seriously. Relatively near the top of that mindless action movies list is the xXx franchise. Why? it has tricks, trashy throw away lines, pretty people with guns and a storyline you’re not supposed to invest to heavily in but you’ll definitely see some cool explosions and laugh. It’s just fun, plain and simple.

xXx: The Return of Xander Cage is a continuation of the completely over the top ridiculous adrenaline fueled action the xXx franchise is known for. So, go-have a good time and remember not everything has to be taken seriously to be enjoyed.

side note: if this is the first time you’re seeing Donne Yen or Tony Jaa in action prepare to enjoy some seriously crazy action sequences and well, I know you’re not the movie partner for my martial arts, action movie marathons… (seriously, where have you been).

Rating: 3 stars

The third explosive chapter of the blockbuster franchise that redefined the spy thriller finds extreme athlete turned government operative Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) coming out of self-imposed exile and on a collision course with deadly alpha warrior Xiang and his team in a race to recover a sinister and seemingly unstoppable weapon known as Pandora’s Box. Recruiting an all-new group of thrill-seeking cohorts, Xander finds himself enmeshed in a deadly conspiracy that points to collusion at the highest levels of world governments.

Cast: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Toni Collette, Ruby Rose, Nina Dobrev, Tony Jaa, Kris Wu, Michael Bisping, Rory McCann, Nicky Jam, Neymar Jr. and Samuel L. Jackson
Written by:
Directed by: DJ Caruso