To leave or not to leave, that is the question.

Seventh Son put me in an unthinkable mindset of leaving the theater before the movie was done. Why? The movie had beautiful set pieces, wonderful special effects, dragons, witches and magic. Ya know, elements that I generally love. First of all, whoever decided to cast Jeff Bridges in this movie needs to have their head examined. That’s right, Jeff Bridges aka “The Dude”. Now Mr. Bridges is a fine actor but his portrayal of a cantankerous Knight named Gregory is downright painful. In fact, his performance was a cross between Reuben J. ‘Rooster’ Cogburn and the Dude. While his costume of Master Gregory was impressive, his facial features left much to be desired. Either he had meatballs in his mouth or there was a prosthetic on his face to alter his appearance. Not a good look. It’s beyond me why he took this role. Are good movie scripts that scarce or was this a quick cash grab?

Another great actor who was also seemingly miscast is Julianne Moore. She plays a sultry witch named Mother Malkin who is supposed to be one powerful badass. To say she exudes enthusiasm in this role would be an exaggeration x 100. Apparently, this movie was born from a series of books written by Joseph Delaney that I’ve not read. After watching this movie, I’d be surprised if fans of the series aren’t disgusted with this offering.

Seventh Son begins with Mother Malkin (Moore) escaping after years of imprisonment. She regains her dark powers from the reappearance of the “Blood Moon”. Ah, the “Blood Moon” now that’s sexy and so original. Of course, after her escape, Master Gregory is the first target for Mother Maklin because he’s the dude that originally imprisoned her. From the start we’re greeted with a swooping dragon and wonderful sword play so could this actually be good? But wait, what’s Jon Snow doing here? Wow, Kit Harrington from the Game of Thrones makes an appearance as Master Gregory’s apprentice. Again, this has to be good right?

After failing to re-capture Malkin, Master Gregory realizes she’s grown more powerful because of the “Blood Moon.” Along the way, Master Gregory discovers another apprentice by the name of Tom Ward who happens to be “the Seventh Son”. The actor lucky enough to land this role is Ben Barnes who found fame with the Narnia movies. Ben’s dull acting doesn’t do any favors improving this slow train wreck of a movie. What bothered me most about his acting is this dude is English yet spoke like an American in the film. WTF? Maybe this can be explained by someone close to the source material. On a positive note, Alicia Vikander plays the role of a good witch named Alice. Her screen presence is a welcome sight in this treasure trove of blah.

Once Master Gregory acquires his new apprentice, he subjects him through rigorous training to prepare him for a final battle against Mother Malkin and her band of witches. Fast forward to the end please, I’ve seen this before in countless movies. The only thing missing is an amulet. Oh darn, this movie has that too.

It’s a shame that this film was handled so poorly by director Sergey Borov. Maybe with a more experienced director and better casting, this movie may have been better.