Slice of SciFi is giving away a copy of the Stephen King written, Frank Darabont adapted and directed movie, The Mist. If you have entered this contest and do, by statistically low probability happen to win the DVD of this film, I have some suggestions for the best ways for you to enjoy this:
- 1. Give it back.
- 2. Sell it on eBay.
- 3. Trade it for Cloverfield.
- 4. Trade it for a field of clovers.
In short, do anything but WATCH this film. Out of all the previously listed options, that is your best bet to receive minimum enjoyment from this ugly film.
Can you tell I didn’t like the film?
Let me very clear, I was okay with this film for the first 99% of it. I had read the Stephen King story a long time ago and while it wasn’t my favorite, it was engrossing and fun. I had also been a big fan of Frank Darabont’s (see previous hate filled blog) work and was excited to see what he came up with, especially knowing that he’s had a great track record with the near impossible task of adapting a King story without it sucking major (PG-13!) ass!
And as I said, most of the film played out in a fairly entertaining manner. Sticking pretty close to the story, it (ARF! ARF! That’s Burt the Spoiler dog! Turn back if you donâ’t want to know!! Down, boy!) follows a group of supermarket shoppers trapped by an evil, monster-filled mist that envelops their sleepy Maine village, and presumably the whole world. The shoppers are periodically besieged by these monsters who fly, sting, web or tentacle lesser characters to gruesome ends. Of course, the real monsters are found inside the supermarket in the likes of super religious zealot Marcia Gay Harden and super logical city dweller Andre Braugher. Braugher doesn’t believe in the monsters and wants to go home (good plan) while Harden thinks it’s a sign from God and wants to sacrifice unbelievers (great plan!), leaving us with level headed Thomas Jane who advocates the more moderate plan of staying away from the monsters and not eating our young (boring!). He becomes the hero and we follow him and his posse of moderate conservatives.
Of course, Braugher and Harden eventually get their comeuppance for thinking outside the box and Jane leads a pack of all white people to a car in the parking lot. They drive off, into the mist, leaving those afraid to leave a large, safe building filled with food and water to succumb to the horrors of monsters and price clubs. This is how the King story pretty much ends and it’s a nice open-ended finish that let’s the reader draw their own conclusions.
But that’s not how Frank chose to end it.
Our heroes (?) drive on, to find (ARF!!! ARF, ARF!! Yes, Burt, I know. Even more Spoilers. Good dog.) Jane’s wife dead, hanging in a big spider web in their window (a bold designing choice). Jane laments that if only he had fixed that huge hole in the window made from the tree that fell on the house, giant spiders wouldn’t have eaten his wife (I worry about that all the time). No matter, though, as he’s found the perfect hot substitute in a teacher (See what I did there?) who cradles his 10 year old son in her lap as he somehow sleeps (Either the monsters or the lap would keep me awake. I’m just saying.) So they drive on.
After the Cloverfield monster walks past them, they run out of gas. The adults: Old Guy, Old Lady, Hot Teacher and The Punisher all look at each other. They decide that despite the fact that they’ve risked their lives at every point since leaving the supermarket, they don’t want to die at the hands of the big bad monsters and so agree that —
ARF!!! ARF!!! DOWN, BURT!! I KNOW, I KNOW!! BUT I HAVE TO DO IT!!
So they agree that Thomas Jane will KILL THEM ALL WITH HIS GUN (Let me read that again because it doesn’t make sense — nope, that’s what they decided.) This includes his SON, who is still sleeping (Wake up! Time to die!) Thomas pulls out his gun and —
BANG! BANG! BANG! ARF! BANG!
He kills everybody.
But forgot that he only had four bullets.
Ummm. Oops?
You… you didn’t COUNT them? I-uh… okay. Let’s keep going.
Distraught that he failed at math, he runs outside and demands that the monsters eat him, something that we’re all kind of hoping for with a guy who whacks his son AND a hot school teacher. Ominous sounds approach and through the mist they are revealed to be —
Whimper… whimper… I know, Burt. But we have to finish this.
…The US Army! Yeah! The world’s greatest army, having easily dispatched insurgents in faraway lands now destroy the monsters and oddly the mist itself with tanks, flamethrowers and helicopters. Also with the army is a bunch of characters we thought were dead (doh!). Mission Accomplished!
Upset that his family and hot teacher are dead, Thomas Jane falls to the ground sobbing hysterically. The camera slowly floats away from our family killing hero and the screen dims.
The End.
Wait — you’re kidding, right?
Let’s wait through the credit for — nope that’s it.
REALLY?!!
No, seriously, that’s how it ended. Thomas Jane kills his family and friends and 30 seconds later the mist is gone and the threat is over. Sorry dude, shoulda stayed in Aisle 4 or your car for another 31 seconds and you’d have your son back! Crazy how that happened, huh?
So basically, the ending of the film invalidates all the previous points it was trying to make about the pitfalls and seductiveness of zealots and mob mentality. Viewed through the prism of this ending, Marcia Gay Harden’s strategy was just as valid: kill off the unbelievers (Jane and company) and wait for the rapture or the Marines. Even Andre Braugher’s character died believing that there was nothing in the mist – a far cry from Jane doing everything in his power to survive and save his child, until they RAN OUT OF FRAKIN’ GAS (did no one in the long car ride think to siphon gas from the other cars or just TAKE the other cars? (Grrr) and decided to eat a bullet right after he blasts his bloodline.
In an interview, Darabont said he was sickened by the recent flood of “physical torture” films (Saw, Hostel) on the market. So it seems he replaced it with a film that explores emotional torture, but against the audience. He has tacked on an ending that betrayed the audience’s trust in him that he would set out an initial premise of in a film, and then resolve it in intelligent, thoughtful parameters. Instead, Frank throws away all the humanity and morality he has so carefully cultivated for a shock ending that borders on insulting.
Strike that, it IS insulting. If this was some kid making his first horror film I’d probably shrug my shoulders, fire off a “meh”, and move on. But Darabont knows better. The Shawshank Redemption doesn’t end with Tim Robbins crawling out of the sewer then dying of a heart attack, audience members would go nuts. If they’re gonna try to lure me to a movie because it’s directed by the writer of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, then I want his full capabilities as a screenwriter, not a screenplay “Rick roll” (okay, that gag is officially overdone… now.) packaged as a “gutsy” ending.
So to the lucky winner of the Slice of SciFi contest for the “Collectors Edition” of The Mist, here’s my movie-inspired advice: Don’t take a chance watching it. Instead, leave your home as though you never won the contest or lock yourself in the closet and pray until God or a film critic with a flamethrower takes you to the promised land (Heaven or Blockbuster). Watching the movie will only result you going to your car with your loved ones and shooting yourself. That is, shooting yourself and your loved ones with your camera, desperately trying to make a better ending to this film.
C’mon Burt, let’s go rent Maximum Overdrive.
yeah the ending of mist was insulting to anyone with any intelligence.
Never mind the way Darabount portrayed christians. another liberal leftie nutcase loose cannon type of movie.
no i never read the original story as i am not a king fan.
I am so Glad George Lucas fired his ass and chose another screenwriter for indiana jones IV.
anyhow i laughed the entire movie bad fake cgi effects, incredibly bad acting and the typecast punisher guy. i kept thinking this was the punisher versus aliens b movie but even that would have been better.
oh and by the way cloverfield was another turd of a movie, if that was arthouse faire compared to this then i lament the current state of hollywood.
I thought it was one of the best King adaptations ever. I wasnt over-impressed by the new ending, but the use of ‘Host of the Seraphim’ by Dead Can Dance was a masterstroke. I would watch this film again and again and again, and I’ve got my fingers crossed as this person will appreciate it!
I was lucky enough to get tickets to a pre-screening of this movie. I haven’t read the original, so I can’t speak about that, but I really enjoyed the movie. Granted, I’ve never read the short story, but I can say that, for me, this is one of the best Stephen King movies out there. I would be quite happy to own this title.
hi nice post, i enjoyed it
I enjoyed it – including the ending. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.
kin242,
Agreed – any time I can hear Dead Can Dance is a good time indeed.
The movie kicked ass; Jane’s performance was incredible. I don’t know what movie you saw Mike.
I never understand someone who trashes a film, only to admit he enjoyed 99% of it.
Weird…
Sounds like he was possibly trying to take a lief from the “I Am Legend” book…? (Sorry, “he” being the director/writer.) I dunno … I’m an old-fashioned guy. I don’t usually enjoy movies where the protagonists kill themselves, or end up dead (exception being the affore-mentioned “I Am Legend”), and especially when the deaths seem to be so … well … stupid. My wife and I are going to watch the DVD tomorrow night with a friend, so I’ll try to keep an open mind and make my own determination … but man, this doesn’t look promising.
I noticed one or two people here said they enjoyed the movie even though they agreed, the ending sucked. I just can’t do that. Same with books; the ending is supposed to be the culmination of everything you’ve endured or enjoyed to get there. If the ending leaves me cold, it just ruins the rest of the experience for me.
I actually enjoyed Cloverfield, which is odd, since as previously stated, I’m not much for movies where the protagonists … er … don’t fare so well. (Where’s that damned spoiler dog when ya need him?)
You know, King himself praised the ending saying, if I had thought of it, that’s how I would have ended it.
I thoroughly enjoyed “The Mist.” I saw it in the theater and then bought it when it came out. Then I bought another one for one of my friends. This film gave us something to talk about. It created passionate arguments and conversations. I can not fault a film that generates conflict between the viewer. I believe that this is what makes a good film.
Also – “Of course, Braugher and Harden eventually get their comeuppance for thinking outside the box and Jane leads a pack of all white people to a car in the parking lot.”
Human Sacrifice and general disbelief/mistrust are “outside the box?” Since when? I would dare say that Jane’s get to the car plan was that actual “outside the box” since they actually left the store. What Mrs. Carmody forgot is, the Lord helps those that help themselves (the mother from the beginning.) And does it matter that the car is filled with white people? Why deos that even need to be pointed out? Yes, they are in Maine, but it serves no purpose to point it out.
“But forgot that he only had four bullets.”
When did this happen? You must have a different cut than I do. I saw a man that was pushed beyond his mental limits trying desperately to kill himself with an empty pistol. Not someone bad at math.
I really don’t see what was so “insulting” about “The Mist.” Sure, it was not a happy ending. But so what? H.P. Lovecraft made a career out of that kind of mental breakdown.
Well, that’s my opinion, as a counterpoint to yours, Mr. McCafferty
I for the most part agree with this review. As noted several times everyone has their different views but I hated the ending.
I was really hoping for an alternate ending on the DVD. Oh well. I probably won’t be buying it.
Agreed. I understood the ending and what the director was trying to say. I just thought it was poorly executed. I can’t help but compare this with “I Am Legend.” One generates lots of discussion and stays with you for weeks after you see it, with an ending that, while not happy per se, gives you a feeling of hope for the future. Then you have “The Mist,” which basically says any choices you make are basically in vain, and just makes you essentially want to shoot yourself in the head … but wait, you can’t. You’re out of bullets.
And if the idea was suposed to be “God helps those who help themselves,” then what was the point of that ending? I mean, David and Company definitely helped themselves. What makes them different from the mother and children? I dunno. I saw the film. Up till the last twenty or so minutes, I liked the film. But thanks to that last twenty minutes, it’ll probably slip from my memory except for being a film that had a really lame ending.
this movie is garbage plain and simple, like most of king’s books and the movies based on them.
shawshank redemption probably being the only exception and that has to be viewed as an accident, even though it was good on accident.
best adaptation i always hear of that stephen king hated was kubricks version of the shining.
yeah i know “here’s johhny! ” is not in the book but cracks me up every time i see it, that kind of ham fested over acting by jack nicholson he also did in batman.
the Dark Tower series might make an interesting film series, even if like the stand it cannabalizes the bible and tolkiens lord of the rings as well as the films of clint eastwood and sergio leone and follows cheapie horror genre crap as well.
by the way no where in the book of revelations does it say to do human sacrifice of children or unbelievers, it would be true of radical muslims but hollywood is affaid of offending them. but giving a big middle finger to christians because they are not going to cut your frickin head off in the street if you disagree with them.
plus hollywood and it’s liberal leftist liars and wilful even evil misinformation of christians and the bible and the church in general. i’d challenge them to read a bible or attend a church maybe once maybe in their life, or meet or converse with a christian, heck make friends with them.
come to understand their beliefs rather than trashing them and demonizing them.
King must just be on the kets hate christians bashing bandwaggon these people are on now because it i so cool and way hip to be doing it.
Well, I always looked at it as, “Hey, the Romans used to feed us to lions, so a little character assasination isn’t a bad thing.” But the sheer amount of it is starting to get really annoying.
Totally agree with this article, the ending completely sucked, it was completely moronic. They could have lasted in the car for hours if nothing else, to try and wait it out. But no, 30 seconds after they run out of gas they immediately contemplate suicide. Idiots!