Anyone reading my occasional contributions to this site might justifiably arrive at the conclusion I am less than pleased with the current state of cinematic entertainment (and maybe the world in general). Fair enough; I do tend to write about things that bother me more often than I write about what I like.
But I will now make the supreme effort to converse a bit about both what I like and don’t like. I do this fully aware my opinion has little bearing on anything, other than to maybe give a voice to the one or two other people unfortunate enough to be afflicted with the same level of curmudgeonness (I just made that word up — hope it sticks) I revel in.
Most people would consider the first item no big deal… so naturally it’s a big gripe of mine. It has to do with cups, supposedly filled with liquids, carried by actors in movies and television scenes. Once again, I’ll state the body is a wonderful piece of machinery. In particular, very few people seem to realize (unless designing robots), just how difficult it is to have a machine pick up an object of undetermined mass, move it around, put it back down and do it as naturally as people do every day. Your hand, arm, shoulders, and indeed your whole body work in unison to make the action smooth, effortless, and something you don’t even think about. You automatically adjust to the weight and compensate for inertia when accelerating and decelerating any object you hold. Pick up a glass of water, and you can sip it, walk around with it, and put it down, all without giving it a second thought. Try programming a mechanical arm to do the same with anywhere near the fluidity we take for granted in our own movements.
And that is the rub. We may take it for granted, but we know, just by looking at a person, if the object a person is holding is light or heavy. Very few people can fake the motions associated with lifting an object with some mass. Even more difficult is to fake the subtle adjustment one automatically makes while walking and carrying an open container of liquid. Adjustments we unconsciously make to keep liquid from spilling out of the cup. No matter how good the actor, they can’t keep me from noticing the cup they walk around with, the one they sip or drink from, is actually empty. Next time you see anyone handing a cup to their partner, friend, etc., notice the way they handle the cups. Once you see it, chances are you’ll say “What the… that cup is empty!! Why are they walking around with empty cups?!?!”
If they want me to believe the actor is portraying a serious FBI agent, don’t show him faking drinking from what is obviously an empty cup. It makes them look like idiots, and worse yet, it’s a small detail sharply reminding the viewer these are actors, and everything in the show is faked. Sure, I knew that; I know I’m watching a show, and not real life. I just don’t want to be reminded of it while I’m watching it.
My second peeve is closely related to the first; actors who break role, and address the audience. Often it is played for laughs; a raised eyebrow in response to some event, while looking at the camera, as if to indicate “Can you believe this!?”. Well, duh!!! I was trying to, until you screwed it up!!
Contrast the prior two things with what I actually like — subtle references, in-jokes, or little snippets paying homage to something only a few viewers might be familiar with — and you see a weird dichotomy at play.
Essentially all three instances remind the audience they are in fact watching a movie, play, or television show.
But while the first two slap you in the face with it, in the third instance the subtle references draw you in as an equal. It is a way of telling loyal and knowledgeable fans “Hey, we know you are out there, and here is something just for your enjoyment.” With no disrespect for the broader audience, the subtleties reward the die-hard fans of the sci-fi genre. Sort of like the secret handshake to a private club. It sounds exclusionary, but anyone can join.
I too enjoy the occassional in-joke. In the BSG episode 3 weeks ago, “The Ties That Bind,” the number on the weapons locker door where the final four Cylons met was marked “1701-D.” It was an inside joke on Ron Moore, who began his career on Star Trek: TNG.
The fake drinking/eating is a big irritation. Let these actors and actresses drink and eat while shooting. Not only will we get to see ‘real’ interaction with the objects around them, but it will give them incentive to get it right quicker! They already have buffets where they shoot where they get anything they could want, (most of the time), so just let them do it for real on camera. The human brain can perceive these minute details. For every detail like this that I don’t notice, it allows for more enjoyment of the show in general. Woops! Just dropped my full cup of water on camera, what will we do?! Save it for the outtakes, we need more of those. Long story short, I agree.
The problem with letting the actors actually eat/drink on screen is the sheer number of times they do each scene. Take any given scene, add together the number of cuts made in the scene, and then multiply by about 5, and you’ll get a small indication of how many times they go through a scene, if there are no flubs or bloopers.
Now while I agree that the fake eating/drinking is a source of irritation and hilarity when totally obvious, it’s done that way so that the actors don’t have to drink five gallons of coffee from a single cup.
It’s a lot harder to detect fake drinking. My point is this – if you go to the trouble of having a prop, why not get it right?
A friend of mine sent me the following:
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Alfred Hitchcock asked an extra if there was film in the prop camera he was using. The extra replied “No, but who’ll know?”
“The audience will know,” he was purported to reply.
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And that’s the point. People at large may not be able to tell if a fake medical procedure is accurate or not, but mundane stuff is easy to spot because of our familiarity with it.
I was going to include a comment about shooting guns, and how people assume you can carelessly handle a gun and still hit whatever you are aiming at, but decided to leave it out because the percent of the population familiar with shooting guns is significantly smaller than the coffee drinking population.
OK – I have to know – is there really tea in your cup? Or were you holding it ever so carefully trying to look as if you are really in fact drinking tea. Give me a real glass of wine and I promise I will look believable as I drink it….. In movies where the police officer finds cocaine in the ziploc bag, notice how they always put it on their tounge. Would a non actor do this?
One of the things that really bites me is that blockbuster hits contain so much foul language and totally unacceptable, immoral behavior. It makes me so *)$#@ mad! Can we get an actress/actor who is someone who does something other than sleep around and complain for 180 minutes? Does entertainment mean I don’t have to do any real thinking?
Can you comment on this new trend of foulness in one of your upcoming posts?
1) that cup was empty. A big hypocrite I am . . . except . . . it was a picture. You, in fact, could not tell it was empty because I was not flinging it about with wild abandon.
2) I don’t think non-actors taste anywhere near the amount of cocaine that actors do. I’m betting those bags in the movies are actually from their private stash, and not props.
3) Why the @*&%$ should I write about profanity?!? Is it some sort of %$#@&* major concern with the population at large?!?!?! Oh . . . right! neither are empty cups. Hmmmm . . . perhaps I will pander to the request. Let me mull it over.
“Never underestimate your audience. They’re usually sensitive, intelligent people.”
Quote from one of my favorite “Stargate: SG-1” episodes there (“200″…and yes, it’s pointless and has no plot, but it’s FUN!) and I think it’s appropriate.
We use television as a medium of escape from everyday life. For some, like myself, that means having the occasional hour or two when you abandon such things as homework, professors, and jobs. For others, that’s when you leave behind depression, misery, and negativity. We become emotionally connected with the characters. We are sympathetic to their needs, wishes, and desires. We laugh, we cry, we rejoice, we despair. When something ruins that – be it bad editing, an inattentive propmaster, or breaking the fourth wall (the “proper” term for peeve #2) – it is a let down, and “real life” ceases to be on pause.