Can Shatner Save the November Sweeps?

Source: EOnline
Written by: Joal Ryan

At least we’ll always have William Shatner…

With the TV miniseries gone the way of the dinosaur, most stunt casting gone the way of Will & Grace, and NBC 2.0 about to cut and run at 8 p.m., sweeps months just aren’t as sweep-y as they used to be. But they can’t take William Shatner away from us.

From Thursday (tonight) until Nov. 29, the likes of Linda Blair, Wayne Brady and dear, old William Shatner will do their best to remind us that you can’t spell November without an “o” for “oh, wow.”

Here’s a look at sweeps highlights.

VERY SPECIAL EPISODES:

Ugly Betty (Thursday, ABC): Executive producer Salma Hayek checks up on her charges in the first of a string of guest appearances.
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (Sunday, ABC): How do you get Ty Pennington to build you a new house? Let’s just say total organ failure doesn’t hurt.
The Simpsons (Sunday, Fox): The animated clan presents its 17th annual tribute to Halloween with the help of Dr. Phil, Richard Lewis and Fran Drescher.
Desperate Housewives (Sunday, ABC): Attention supermarket shoppers, a hostage taking in Aisle 3.
Family Guy (Sunday, Fox): Guest-voice Macaulay Culkin goes goth rock.
Everybody Hates Chris (Monday, CW): There’s a new principal in town: Jason Alexander.
Heroes (Monday, NBC): Richard Roundtree makes a return appearance to the world of the capeless wonders.
America’s Next Top Model (Wednesday, CW): Gabrielle Reece tutors Tyra Banks’ aspirants in “the art of action modeling.”
‘Til Death (Nov. 9, Fox): “Joy (Joely Fisher) attempts to persuade Eddie (Brad Garrett) that unplugging the toaster saves electricity.”
The Office (Nov. 9, NBC): Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch is pegged for closure.
Grey’s Anatomy (Nov. 9, ABC): The episode that didn’t take, at least not with the cast. On screen, the men of Seattle Grace bond on a camping trip. Off screen, Isaiah Washington went off on Patrick Dempsey shortly after the woodsy shoot.
Supernatural (Nov. 9, CW): Exorcist star Linda Blair keeps her head on straight as a police detective who collars the Winchester brothers for murder.
7th Heaven (Nov. 12, CW): Lucy (Beverley Mitchell) gives counsel to T-Bone, and suddenly you realize you haven’t watched this show in a while, and ask why and how Lucy has a friend named T-Bone?
The Amazing Race 10 (Nov. 12, CBS): “Every second counts as the remaining teams make their way through Helsinki.”
CSI: Miami (Nov. 13, CBS): Eva La Rue and sister Nika’s real-life run-in with a serial killer inspires this episode about Eva La Rue’s character, her character’s sister and a kidnapper.
Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Nov. 14, NBC): A “former child star turned vagabond” is found murdered. Not based on a recently true story, anyway.
Smallville (Nov. 16, CW): “Clark (Tom Welling) comes face to face with a horrifying phantom who sucks the bones out of people.”
My Name Is Earl (Nov. 16, NBC): Christian Slater is a stoner once victimized by Jason Lee’s titular deadbeat.
30 Rock (Nov. 16, NBC): The little-watched SNL-inspired comedy gets its shot at a new life, a new night, Thursday and an extra-special time, 9:20 p.m.
Justice (Nov. 20, Fox): Jane Seymour guests as Victor Garber’s former lovah.
House (Nov. 21, Fox): Whatever happened to that kid (Patrick Fugit) from Almost Famous? He checks into Princeton-Plainsboro as a teen with a bad ticker.
CSI (Nov. 23, CBS): A guest appearance by Roger Daltry gives CBS the motive to dub this episode a “who-dunnit.”
How I Met Your Mother (Nov. 27, CBS): Wayne Brady turns up as Neil Patrick Harris’ brother. The resemblance is not striking.

FALL FINALES:

Lost (Wednesday, ABC): The castaway drama embarks on a planned hiatus–and evades Criminal Minds’ clutches until at least February.
Dancing with the Stars (Nov. 15, ABC): Drew Lachey’s successor is crowned.
Prison Break (Nov. 27, Fox): After this episode, the break-out brothers take a breather from their run for freedom. The remaining nine hours will play out some time next year.
The Bachelor: Rome (Nov. 27, ABC): Perhaps faced with his own reality TV mortality, Prince Lorenzo “dissolves into tears.”

PREMIERES:

The O.C. (Thursday, Fox): The fourth season begins with the Orange County denizens scattered, and still shattered by the death of Mischa Barton’s prime-time career.
Show Me the Money (Nov. 14, ABC): If Jeopardy! were hosted by William Shatner instead of Alex Trebek, and aided by “13 stunning dancers” instead of a bunch of boring old TV screens, it still probably wouldn’t be anything like this new game show-variety hybrid.
3 Lbs. (Nov. 14, CBS): Stanley Tucci stars in this neurosurgeon drama that sidesteps Jonathan Lipnicki’s assertion that the human head weighs 8 pounds, and instead focuses on some science person’s assertion that the brain alone weighs 3 pounds.
Day Break (Nov. 15, ABC): Taye Diggs stars in the new serial drama that isn’t the new Denzel Washington movie, even though it kind looks like it is. Talk about deja vu.
Medium (Nov. 15, NBC): Patricia Arquette’s real-life husband, Thomas Jane, plays an old boyfriend on the two-hour, season-three premiere.
Scrubs (Nov. 16, NBC): The surprisingly hardy cult comedy embarks on season six.
Reba (Nov. 19, CW): The network’s gotta pay for it, and now you get to see it: the former WB sitcom’s long-awaited sixth season.
Big Day (Nov. 28, ABC): A young couple tries to get married before their comedy series dies in a tough time slot opposite House and The Unit.

SPECIALS:

Roseanne Barr: Blonde and Bitchin’ (Saturday, HBO): The comic returns to her roots. Well, not the hair ones…
40th Annual Country Music Association Awards (Monday, ABC): See what Keith Urban will be missing. Brooks & Dunn host. Vince Gill, Sheryl Crow and others perform.
Barbara Walters Special: 30 Mistakes in 30 Years (Nov. 16-17, ABC): The veteran newswoman goes through her old interviews, and comes out of the edit bay with a Foul-Ups, Bleeps & Blunders for the 21st century.

HOLIDAY TRIMMINGS:

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (Nov. 20, ABC): Snoopy whips up a feast.
Spider-Man 2 (Nov. 23, Fox): The 2004 hit makes its broadcast network debut in time for Thanksgiving dessert.
A Charlie Brown Christmas (Nov. 28, ABC): Charlie Brown contemplates the unhappy holidays.
Christmas in Rockefeller Center (Nov. 29, NBC): Christina Aguilera helps turn on a big tree.