Well, I finally broke down and went to see “War of the Worlds” this weekend.

I figured, it must be good, right? I mean, Spielberg directed it, three of the top names in show-biz are starring in it – Tom Cruise, Tim Robbins and Dakota Fanning. The critics gave it 4 out of 5 stars; plus, it gave me a chance to get out of the 110 degree heat and use up someone else’s air conditioning and electricity.

WRONG!!! Even the normally superb acting talents of Dakota Fanning couldn’t save this piece of tripe. It was almost as if Spielberg said, “you know, I’m going to take a break on this one and let my french poodle direct.”

Of course the special effects were awesome, but hey, anymore I get those every single week on Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica on my big-screen television. Where was the story? The empathetic characters? They were non-existent. Cruise’s character was a total jerk-off, Robbins was just plain weird and out-of-place, and Fanning? Well, Dakota was Dakota.

My afternoon would have been better spent getting cancer-fried in the blazing sun of Nebraska’s sweltering heat. And, I would have saved around twenty bucks.

The film did have two redeeming qualities: The beginning with Morgan Freeman’s flawless narration and the very end with an all-too-brief cameo by Gene Barry. Which reminds me, if you want to see a much better “War of the Worlds” movie, then rent or buy the 1953 Gene Barry version. A much better flick than this latest piece of trash.