Gnomes Can Be Lethal
Greensburg is a small city just outside Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in the United States. It is a lovely place with lots of trees that turn a myriad of colors in the fall and plenty of rivers for boating, swimming and fishing. It also is the home of a crazy man who thought taking a defensless garden gnome and attacking his 16-year old stepdaughter was a good thing.
Charles S. Morrison, 31, of Mt. Pleasant Street has been found guilty on five criminal charges, including a felony count of aggravated assault for heaving the gnome statue through a glass door at the girl. Kelsey Anderson, the step-daughter, suffered a cut above her right eye from the shattered glass.
Anderson told the court that while visiting the home of her stepfather, Morrison came in drunk and threatened her with a kitchen chair as well as spitting curse words at her. In an attempt to get away from him Anderson said, “I pushed him out the door, he stumbled and shut the screen door. He threw the gnome at the glass. It shattered everywhere, and the glass hit me in the face”.
Morrison was already getting ready to serve 15 months in jail for another charge. It now looks like he and his gnome will be separated a tad longer. Lesson here? When drunk or in a heated situation, LEAVE the GNOME ALONE!
There is a tragic story; a prime example of cruelty to gnomes. In the summer of 2008, a 31 year old man THREW a gnome (of the Garden quadrant) threw a window. The gnome fell through the glass, partially ripping his hat and causing heavy bruising. I was absolutely flabbergasted and utterly shocked. I was stricken; I was appalled. I… was furious. Gnomes need to be treated with love and care, not brash ignorance and needless violence.
Support gnomes!
Support Sangster! Vote for me in my upcoming governmental New York City campaign! You won’t regret it once you see the results!
Gnomes aren’t my only concern (though very important to me) — public transportation, criminal justice systems, preservation of Celtic Ancestry/Hetritage, local sports, agriculture, and many other subjects are important values in daily community life, and my life as well.
I, Christopher Bobert Sangster, am already making a difference in MY community through volunteer work and public speaking. Someday, I hope to change the world, and you.
Thank you.
*clap clap clap clap WOOOOOyeah! clap clap clap*
/applause
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